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I was forced into doing things I didn't want to do because I was so terrified I couldn't support them and give them the life I deserved.'When I abandoned it and went back to who I really am I had that sense of peace, internal joy.'Struggle is the best teacher.I have become more grateful for every minute of every day – little moments, not material things, can measure up to those times I have with my family.'Natalie became infamous in 2009 when it was revealed she had undergone IVF treatment to become pregnant with eight children, even though she was already a mother of six and unemployed.'It's a story that needs to be told and I think it will encourage a lot of women to draw up strength they didn't know they had.'I believe it will help inspire women to keep pressing forward despite the pain and suffering they may be experiencing.Nadya, 42, who now goes by the name of Natalie, has also turned her back on her media persona of 'Octomom' who she says 'nearly destroyed me and my family.'Speaking to Daily she revealed: 'Every day I would wake up with the most ugly, dead, visceral feeling inside of me.'I didn't want to live.I felt less than human as that character I was pretending to be, to survive and provide for my family.'What she was disgusted me and I did not want my children to remember me like that.As a single mom with 14 kids, Nadya Suleman has a lot on her plate.
Known for giving birth to octuplets in January 2009 (bringing her total number of children to 14), the La Habra, Calif., resident earned herself the nickname “Octo-mom.” While unemployed and on public assistance programs in 2008, Suleman conceived the octuplets through in-vitro fertilization (as she had done with her previous six children) by Dr Michael Kamrava.I would mix it with alcohol which I later found out was what Whitney Houston, died from.'I didn't want to be here anymore, but then I thought about my children and just had to keep going for them.'She told how her breaking point came after she was approached by a stranger one night while she was working as a stripper.'I was in a strip club in Florida in February 2013, and this very tall man, this stranger came in.He walked straight to me and looked straight into my eyes.'He took my hand and grabbed my arm and said in a very gentle but firm way: "You do not have to do this." He repeated it five times.'I couldn't control the tears that were streaming down my face. I looked down for a moment, and looked up and he was gone,' she says.Natalie says she thought it was possible the man could have been 'an angel' and she decided to make a change: 'I knew I had to be my healthy self again.