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Kerby Anderson is the president of Probe Ministries International. Perhaps you have heard marriage speakers like Gary Smalley or Dave and Claudia Arp recommend this book (which should be available in your local Christian bookstore and is also available online at First, it provides a strong body of university research on what makes marriages fail.

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In one of the key studies, researchers followed a sample of 135 couples for twelve years, starting before they were married.This research simply shows us what behaviors can be changed and warns us what will probably happen if we are unwilling or unable to change.As the book of James reminds us, it is not enough to just believe something, we must act upon it (James , -18, ).Once negative comments are made, they are hard to take back and drive a knife into the partner's heart.Proverbs says, "Reckless words pierce like a sword." These reckless words can do great damage to a marriage because when an argument escalates, every comment and vulnerability becomes fair game.

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