Dating a psychologist

Hey, it’s all a part of growing up and learning what you want, and more power to you for taking the time to figure it all out. I’ve dated a lot of different types of guys: the artist, the accountant, the unemployed, the teacher and now, most recently, the therapist.

A lot of women ask me what it’s like to date a shrink. If I am laying down on a couch, does he come over and sit next to me with a little notebook and a monocle?

Understanding the science of attraction can’t guarantee you a date tonight, but it can point the way towards forming mutually benefiting relationships with other people.

Location, Location So what does this science of attraction tell us?

I use this as my guiding philosophy with all people in my life.

I accept people for who they are when I first meet them.

One thing that struck me very early on in my forays was that everyone had an opinion about “what worked” in terms of dating.

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You might date people who inspire you creatively, push you to pursue your dreams, or drive you absolutely freaking nuts.

One thing I learned very quickly was that there are no “laws of attraction”, no guarantees of success in dating, no foolproof methods or strategies for getting someone to date you.

Human psychology is too complex to reduce to rules or laws of attraction – but that’s not the same as saying that there’s nothing to be gained from understanding the processes involved in attraction.

A good therapist is supposed to take the stance of curiosity and come from the believe that you can only change if you want to. I use the same cognitive and emotional schema with my clients and romantic relationships (with ethics in mind of course).

I can’t speak for all therapists, but I personally believe that true love and a great relationships are all about accepting your partner for who they are unconditionally (faults included).

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