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There is no right or wrong way to do this Step, and those who work it don't stop to try to figure out why they did what they did--they merely make a list in whatever way works best for them, trying to be as "searching and fearless" as they can be.After listing their resentments, many PIRs include in their lists the other categories suggested in the Big Book: This last category of sexual harms is not limited to actual physical harms like infecting someone with a sexually transmitted disease, or having sex with someone against their will.This category also gets the PIR thinking about how they were inconsiderate with their partner, how they might have been jealous or suspicious, or how they might have cheated on their partner.Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed.In these Steps, PIRs practice reaching out to other people and face their fear of rejection.In the process, they learn mutual respect for others and how to have equality in a relationship rather than power over someone else.

The Big Book, page 64, says that "resentment is the 'number one' offender," and that it destroys more addicts than anything else does.When they were drinking and using, they may have grown used to doing whatever it took to cover up, excuse, or engage in their addictive behavior.When it comes to an addiction disorder, deceit, manipulation, and friendships with fellow drinking or drugging buddies are too often the rule, rather than the exception.As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.When PIRs do a personal inventory, they list the things--their thoughts, feelings, character traits, and behaviors--that stand in the way of recovery and those personal strengths that can help in recovery.

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